"Where are the ladies?"

Had an excellent night in Leeds on Friday, apart from the fact that a lot of the laces we went were dead - and i mean eerie dead, not just quiet. The last time I went to most of them you were queuing a long time to get in and they were rammed, they are now smattered with rejects from the village of the damned - although had a good night because of it as I couldn't stop laughing.
Also one of the bars we stumbled in to was a gay bar - and whilst ordering the drinks i innocently asked -'Do you know where the ladies are?' to which the scantily dressed boy toy behind the bar equally as innocently answered, 'well, just look around, they're all over'. Hmmmm.
Went to see my mum today, took the flowers and card, and it just popped into conversation about feeding birds with lead pellets. I (again innocently) passed comment on this, only to be mocked - as far as i have been concerned all my life, birds eat pellets of food, and lead pellets were fed to them to kill them. Fesk took great delight in telling me, that this is not the case, they are shot!! Still think it is a misleading phrase to use, and an easy mistake to make.
Still no baby.